oh birds

sooooo finally updating this old thing again.
new with birds! the birds from my design portfolio.
speaking of... i passed that, thank god i don't need to find a new major.

i feel like there is really nothing else to say right now.
the semester is almost over, so close to it just being summer.
pretty much just can't wait to leave hartford.

so this is the new year...

well...
here i am, stuck at home on new years eve.
i have the need to get all dressed up, but there's no point. i'm spending it sitting on the couch with my parents. stupid snow storm, and shitty new england roads. i wish i could though, but lately i don't think i would be able to stay up past 1 to drive myself home.

oh boy, i wonder what this new year will bring.
2008 has been good to me, and i don't think i'm due for a bad year for another couple of years... hopefully.
hopefully i'll stick to my resolution, because yes, i'm actually making one this year.

i hope there's a drastic change this year, i really do...

hey hey hey, you're my headache

i want to live differently.
i want to live in a house with my best friends, with a big comfy couch in our living room where we all go to sit and watch tv together after working all day.
i want to go on picnics.
i want to fly kites.
i want to go camping.

i want to make real art that means something to me.
and i want the people i know to not think they have to pose when a camera is pointed in their direction.
i want to capture people getting ready. doing work, doing their thing.

i want a room in my house covered in a ridiculous wall paper, some horrible yellow old pattern, with a brown rug and a wall covered by a book shelf packed to capacity.

i want a fresh start.

summer skin

so. i leave for italy on monday.
flying out of boston at 6pm, so it's over-night over the atlantic for me.
i'm excited and scared at the same time. i still can't believe i'm going, minus the fact that i have a suitcase packed laying in my family room.

last saturday i saw my favorite band, rise against, in providence with my two best friends.
i thought they were amazing and i can't wait to see them again.

they are playing in milan, italy on november 16th, but i'll be in naples at that point, and a trip to milan is probably a couple hours [i don't know how long it takes to get from one part of italy to the other yet]
i'd be cool to see how the italian kids react and mosh to them.

i still can't believe that i leave in two days.

i'm going to miss my friends a lot, especially since this summer i got really close to some friends i've had for at least four years, and i got to re-connect to someone i haven't seen in two years, who i actually missed a lot. it's amazing having a blast from your past coming back into your life.

so nervous... so so nervous.

lately.

lately i've been questioning myself as an artist. i feel like nothing i'm doing is good enough, or at the level it should be at. i keep looking to other artists for inspiration but all i get is discouraged. that's not how it's always been. i used to get so inspired and i used to have these big aspirations as to the great things that i could someday do... but now i sit and wonder why i'm in art school. what am i doing here? what am i even going to do with my future as an artist? i think of a possible career as a graphic designer and then i wonder if i'll be able to be creative when i need to be. printmaking? i suck at drawing... photography? parents don't want to pay for this school when i have a "natural eye" that i think sucks. but then again i never practice.
maybe i should stop complaining and just do something.

and lately i've just been feeling so dumb. i walked half way to go see the black mirah film festival here on campus, and then i stopped, stood around, took a deep breath and walked back in the direction i came in. i wish i was there but i don't know that i could sit though something without being able to talk to someone about it right away [i had no one to go with]. that in and of itself is a lame excuse, but i wasn't in one of those, "i'm gonna do this solo" moods.

come to think of it, i don't know what kind of mood i am in.

i just wish i could say i was good at something.
i just wish i didn't give up so easily.

maui fever

Well, lets see.
tomorrow i'm moving back into my dorm, and i'm so excited. this semester is going to be great. my suitemates all get along awesome and every weekend is going to be amazing.
i bought a new camera yesterday. got the canon sd600. it's pretty sweet.

my inital random dream of buying a house with eric that i had one night, turned into us buying one on cape cod. [since i told him about the random dream.] now because of the show on mtv "maui fever," it's switched coasts. i'm getting so excited just thinking about it. if we actually followed through that would be the sickest thing ever, so awesome after graduating college.

at the end of august i'm going to italy. i'll be there until november 20th-ish. once in a life time oppertunity right there. so excited!!

basically, good things to look forward to, or to at least hope for. maybe in about 3 or 4 years i'll call maui home...

new

new start for a new year. so i decided that maybe i'd re-start my blogger.
actual post soon to come.
buona notte